Buy Me Stuff for My Birthday! Now! I Demand It!!!

(WARNING: Tongue Firmly in Cheek for the following post)

Each year for Christmas and my birthday, I try and think about other people: specifically, I try to make it as easy as possible for other people to get me stuff I want (ie video games, board games and books), rather than stuff I don’t (ie ties and socks). Because nothing’s worse than opening a perfectly good present, only to find something you wear on your feet, which isn’t Super Mario Bro. Mega Mushroom Slipper (Rare) (please don’t get me that, by the way. No feet-related gifts.)

That’s where my Amazon wishlist comes in. People can go there, sort it by priority, and see all the stuff I want, ordered from most wanted to least. And since we know that life is just a game where the guy with the most toys at the end wins, I try to help other people . . . help me win.

That’s where you come in, internet. Forget Santa Claus–I can just write you what I want, and you can get it for me. No elves or flying reindeer involved, and there’s no need for any of that “believe” garbage. We live in America, dagnabbit, and if I can’t be 110% greedy twice a year, then the terrorists win. Preferably, you’ll buy me stuff anonymously, because nothing ruins a good present as fast as having to write a thank you card for it before you’re allowed to play with it. (Trust me on this one–I’m an expert.)

Now, I do recognize that you buy stuff for other people. That’s why I’ve provided that handy little Amazon search box on the right. Remember that? Just search for stuff for other people using it, and I get a cut, too. That way, everything you buy, you end up buying for me. I’ll be your best friend forever, internet. And hey–you could use my list as a guide for what to get everyone else, too. I’m great at suggestions.

In the meantime, get buying! Bill Gates is totally killing me at the game of Life right now, and I need me some goodies to catch up. And just in case you don’t know what to get me, I’ve added a “Donate to the Bryce Fund” button on the right hand column of my blog. That’s right, internet. You can now give me money, just for being me. I promise to honor your donation by buying only cool stuff with it. Cool stuff that I will use to fight evil.

And boredom.

So there’s no longer any excuse, internet. Technology has been created so that I may get stuff. That’s where you come in. Hop to it.

[In all honesty, I do the list mainly for my wife, who has been known to become a tad bewildered when it comes to Things I Like, since there are so many different board games and stuff out there that’s really bad, and only some of it that’s Totally Awesome. I’ve come to kind of dread making the list each year, because it’s hard for me to commit to anything. I finally finished this year’s B-Day list, and I figured I’d blog about it. But how do you blog about something that’s so egocentric? Humorously, I hope.]