For the past while, I’ve been toying with a Green Eggs and Ham approach to the election this year. Why? Because I’m easily amused, I suppose. And going on the assumption that some of you are easily amused as well, I now present to you:
Green Eggs and Trump
I’m a Chump. I’m a Chump. Chump for Trump.
That Chump-for-Trump! That Chump-for-Trump!
I do not like that Chump-for-Trump!
Would you like to stump for Trump?
I do not like him, Chump-for-Trump.
I do not like that horse’s rump.
Would you like his trades or wall?
I would not like his trades or wall.
I would not like that man at all.
I do not like him, Chump-for-Trump.
I do not like that pimple bump.
Should he stay inside the House?
He has such a lovely spouse.
I do not like him in the House.
Who cares about his lovely spouse?
I do not like his trades or wall.
I do not like that man at all.
I do not like him, Chump-for-Trump.
I do not like that racist lump.
Would you like him, for the Court?
Our judicial last resort!
Not for the Court. No last resort.
Not in the House. Not for his spouse.
I would not like his trades or wall.
I would not like that man at all.
I would not like him, Chump-for-Trump.
I do not like that rotten grump.
Would you? Could you? For some cash?
Democrats will make us crash!
I would not, could not, for some cash.
You may like him, you will see.
Only he can contain Xi!
He cannot, will not, contain Xi.
Not for some cash! You let me be.
I do not like him, for the Court.
I do not like his golf resort.
I do not like him in the House.
I do not think about his spouse.
I do not like his trades or wall.
I do not like that man at all.
I do not like him, Chump-for-Trump.
I do not like that garbage dump.
The corps! The corps! The corps! The corps!
Could you, would you, for the corps?
Not for the corps! Not for XI!
Not for cash, Chump! Let me be!
I would not, could not, for the Court.
He will not be my last resort.
I will not like him in the House.
I will not like his trades or wall.
I will not like him in the fall.
I do not like him, Chump-for-Trump.
I do not like that moral slump.
Say! For health care? For good health care!
Would you, could you, for health care?
I would not, could not, for health care.
Would you, could you, for a war?
I would not, could not, for a war.
Not for health care. Not for the corps.
Not for some cash. Not against Xi.
I do not like him, Chump, you see.
Not in the House. Not for the court.
Not for his spouse. No last resort.
I will not like his trades or wall.
I do not like that man at all!
You do not want to stump for Trump?
I do not like him, Chump-for-Trump.
Could you, would you, for the oil?
I would not, could not for the oil!
WIll you wear this hat tinfoil?
I will not wear that hat tinfoil.
I will not, will not, for the oil.
I will not like him for a war.
Not for health care! Not against Xi!
Not for some cash! You let me be!
I do not like him, for the Court.
He cannot be our last resort.
I will not like him in the House.
I do not think about his spouse.
I do not like his trades or wall.
I do not like that man at all!
I do not like him, Chump-for-Trump.
I do not like that Forrest Gump.
You do not like him. So you say.
Try him! Try him! And you may.
Try him and you may, I say.
Chump! If you let me be,
I will try him. You will see.
[Three seconds later]
Nope.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Joe Biden or Buttigieg
Either one I won’t begrudge.
Michael Bloomberg has my vote.
Warren is an antidote.
Tulsi Gabbard, Thomas Steyer:
Better than a garbage fire!
Klobuchar or Bernie Sanders
Vote for both! They would be grander.
I would vote for my friend, Daniel.
I’d elect a Cocker Spaniel!
I will not wear that hat tinfoil.
I will not, will not, for the oil.
I will not like him for a war.
Not for health care! Not against Xi!
Not for some cash! You let me be!
I do not like him, for the Court.
He cannot be our last resort.
I will not like him in the House.
I do not think about his spouse.
I do not like his trades or wall.
I do not like that man at all!
I do not like him, Chump-for-Trump.
I’ll never vote for Donald Trump.
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