If You Ever

Note to self: If you ever commit to doing something and even put it down on your planner that you’re going to do it, you really ought to look at your planner now and then to remind yourself that you committed to doing that thing you committed to doing.

Such is life.

Now, for your reading enjoyment, I discovered today that Jack Handey (Of Deep Thoughts fame) is actually a real person. Not only that, but he’s got a website. I used to love Deep Thoughts, and his website’s pretty darn funny. So click on over and check it out. I liked this post a lot.

I’ll leave you with a few of my favorite deep thoughts:

In weightlifting, I don’t think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I’ll go over to the person’s house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I’m gone, but you know what I’ve left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it’s head with a note that says “You.” After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him,is, “God is crying.” And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is, “Probably because of something you did.”

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disney Land, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. “Oh, no,” I said, “Disney Land burned down.” He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disney Land, but it was getting pretty late.

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