Movie Review: Snowpiercer

I’d heard a lot about Snowpiercer. Post-apocalyptic movie that takes place entirely on a train? And it had gotten on to some “best of” lists? Sign me up. It came onto Netflix, and I was lying in bed recovering from that yucky headache, so I gave it a shot.

Wow. What an incredibly bad movie.

Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t wholly without merit. The visuals are pretty impressive. There are a few intriguing scenes. But for the most part, this movie is garbage. Why? Because the plot and story that serves as the structure for the whole film make no sense whatsoever.

Here’s the set up: to fight global warming, nations release an experimental chemical into the atmosphere. It works all too well. The world is plunged into a global ice age, and the only people left alive are the ones who made it onto a train that’s designed to never stop. It circles the globe on a long and winding track that takes a year to make one loop. Somehow, it can handle all the snow that builds up on the tracks in the intervening year.

Anyway.

On board this train, you’ve got very strict classes. The nearer you get to the engine, the more hoity-toity the people become. So the ones back at the caboose are the complete downtrodden. They don’t like being trodden down, so they stage an uprising. It’s goal? Get to the engine.

That’s pretty much the movie. The world building makes no sense whatsoever. Why are the people in the back of the train do abused? Because the rich people feel like it, essentially. They do no work. They serve no real purpose to the rest of the train. They exist to make the rich people feel richer? I have no idea. And what are the rich people doing? Being rich. Eating good food. Reading the paper. Going to parties.

Where does the food come from? Where do these people sleep? How in the world is this train self sustaining?

Completely ignored. I’ve read Aesop fables with more character development and world building than this flick. I have no idea how it’s managed to get a 7.0 on IMDB. An 84 on Meteoritic. Salon called it the best film of the year. I’m totally baffled. The only explanation I can come up with for people liking this movie is they don’t think about the underlying elements necessary for this world to work. They’re not sci-fi/fantasy fans. (What’s wrong with these people?) Complete waste of time, even when you’re stuck in bed. 3/10, with the few points its getting due solely to the effects.

Was I just in a bad mood when I watched it?