A Very Elven Birthday

I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone go from 0 to Superfan as quickly as DC did with Lord of the Rings. As I blogged about a while ago, I decided this Christmas would be a fun time to watch all six Hobbit and Lord of the Rings movies back to back, and I wanted to include Tomas and DC in the activity.

Now, less than two months later, DC just celebrated her eleventh birthday. For presents, she got a scarf with a map of Middle Earth on it, an Arwen necklace, elf ears, and Denisa and she will be working on making an elven tiara together. For dinner, DC requested “lembas waffles,” which turned out to be these vegan waffles Denisa had made before. DC liked them and thought they looked like lembas bread.

After we were done with the festivities, we went upstairs and watched the last bit of the special features of Return of the King, and then started in on the special features of An Unexpected Journey. That means we’ve watched all the special features of the original trilogy now, in addition to the extended editions of all the movies. That’s over 40 hours of film. The special features on the Hobbit extended editions are even longer. I’d say we have around 27 hours to go.

And through it all, DC is still front and center. She’s memorized how to say things in Quenya. She’s writing her name in Tengwar. She was excited to find out I have the original Lord of the Rings Trivial Pursuit game (though she was sad when I beat her. Mwa ha ha!) She’s teaching herself to play all the songs on cello. She’s started quoting the movies, and when she’s not watching the special features with me, she’s watching the movies by herself.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever reached that level of fandom personally. (Well, if you don’t count Groundhog Day, I suppose . . .) I read the Hobbit in second grade, and I read the Lord of the Rings soon after that. I thought they were great, and I read the multiple times, but that’s where things ended for me. Then again, I also didn’t have the spectacular adaptation of Peter Jackson to inspire me. (Watching those making of documentaries brings an even greater appreciation for just what they pulled off. It also makes me like the Hobbit trilogy even more. I know it’s stylish to say the Hobbit is bad, but I continue to love it, so there.)

Anyway, if you see DC around, ask her something about Lord of the Rings. She’d be more than happy to talk to you about it. Happy birthday, DC!

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve been posting my book ICHABOD in installments, as well as chapters from UTOPIA. Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

A Post-Christmas Thought

I know I said I was taking a break from the blog, but I’m breaking that rule today to pop in and share a thought. I was sitting here catching up with my journal for the last few days. Christmas is fun, but very busy, and so it’s easy to let some things slip past me in the big build up. I was about five days behind, but I like writing my journal. A good way to take stock of what I’ve been up to. Sometimes it seems it’s very same-thing-every-day, but other times huge things will happen out of nowhere.

But as I was writing about everything we’ve been up to (Canadian Brass Christmas concert, quartet in church, presents, fun, and a crushed front bumper of the Prius in a parking mishap), it just occurred to me how much I like the little things. Spending time with the kids. Going on walks. Working on projects. Playing games. Watching movies. Just spending time together as a family.

You want to have things mixed up now and then. Excitement. Vacations. But so much of life is just the day in day out act of living it. Just as you only notice how wonderful it is to be healthy once you’re actually sick, it can be hard to identify how much fun it is to be with your family until they’re not there anymore.

This isn’t intended to be a sad post. Just a chance for me to try and get down the feeling I was having while journaling. I won’t have another Christmas with Tomas at 14, DC at 10, and MC at 5, and that’s okay. Life moves on, and there will be Christmases to come, and this one to look back on. How to put this . . . ?

When we were in Krakow this past summer, we took the kids out at night late one evening. Our hotel was 25 feet from the main square of the city, so Denisa and I thought it was a perfect chance to do something with the kids we don’t usually get to do. We had a great time wandering the streets and showing them how different a city looks at night compared to the day. And after we were mostly done (just finishing one of our many ice creams that trip), I pulled everyone off to the side of the main square. I told the kids to stop and take some time to *be* there. To really notice what it was like. To listen to the sounds. Feel the air. Smell it. Focus on what it’s like. It’s kind of like taking a mental snapshot of a moment. It’s something I’ve done off and on over the years, and I love being able to think back on all those times and remember them, because when I focus like that, the memories do seem much clearer and crisper.

That’s the same sort of feeling I had while journaling. That just living life with my family is a lot of fun, and I want to Remember this. I know there will be Christmases when things are much different. That’s okay. This was a lovely one, and it’s been a hectic end of the year to this point. I was very grateful for the chance to catch my breath, clear my head, and just enjoy the moment for while again.

I hope this Christmas found you and yours in good health and spirits as well. Maybe it wasn’t a great time for you (there have been some Christmases that were . . . much less than optimal for me). If so, I hope you have good times ahead. And when they come (or if they’re already here), take some time to soak them all in.

And now I’m going to eat some more fudge, before I turn into a walking Hallmark card.

Merry Christmas!

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve been posting my book ICHABOD in installments, as well as chapters from UTOPIA. Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

The Oldest Wedding Present

Denisa and I have been married for seventeen years. And for those entire seventeen years, we’ve been toting around a wedding present, between four moves, across the entire country, switching it between floors and different storage places. What was it? A floor length mirror you could mount on the wall. At first we were living in apartments where we couldn’t put stuff on the walls. And then we didn’t have an immediately appealing place to put it in our house.

But then we finished our bathroom, and there was a blank wall right there, waiting for the wedding present to finally be used.

I’m pleased to say that yesterday, 6,376 days after our marriage, I finally attached that mirror to a wall. True, the mounting hardware had long been lost, so I had to make a special trip to the hardware store to get some. And I used the help of my fourteen year old son to hold it in place while I attached it.

Thinking back on everything that’s happened since we got that mirror, I’m amazed we held onto it that long, and that it didn’t break. It never had a huge, sturdy box. Just some thin cardboard. It’s five feet long, and just made of glass, so it’s not like it should have held up against the tests of time. And it only costs around $30 today, so it’s not even necessarily something you’d put in a “Let’s Make Sure We Hold Onto That” category. We ditched our television when we moved across the country, for example. I guarantee that was worth more.

And yet somehow it’s been there, kicking around in that old box, the entire time. We moved it gently each time, paying attention to where we were storing it and how it was treated. There’s probably a life lesson to be said there, though I won’t take the time to say it. (Because you could just as easily say what worth is something when it’s hidden away the entire time, never opened, always pristine, and left unused?)

I’m just happy the mirror is mounted and usable now. (At the right height, as well, seeing as how most floor length mirrors get mounted by people who are a bit shorter than Denisa and I . . .)

I think that’s the last wedding present we’ve had kicking around that we haven’t used and didn’t ditch. How about you? Got any you still haven’t found just the right place for?

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve been posting my book ICHABOD in installments, as well as chapters from UTOPIA. Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

Revisiting the Chore Chart

Last year I wrote about a new development in my family: the creation of a chore chart. I’d written an update a week later to report that it was all going smoothly, but I haven’t said anything about it since then.

The chore chart persisted in more or less the same form this entire time. It’s really hard to believe we’ve been using it for a year and a half now. 18 months of the chore chart. But over the last while, I’d noticed something else happening.

I’ve been feeling more and more stretched thin. When I first made this new chart, I’d felt it was important to have parents be included in the mix, mainly so the kids felt the whole process was on the up and up. Being fair is important to me. The whole reason for the chart coming into being was because Denisa’s work schedule was making things too hectic for her, so putting her on the chart didn’t make sense. I took one for the team.

But as I said, the last while my participation had gotten worse and worse. I’d come home from work and do my writing, and then I’d just be exhausted. I’d feel guilty that I wasn’t pulling my weight on the chore chart. My kids stepped up their game, but even then, it still didn’t feel good. I couldn’t forget I was slacking. It was there at the back of my head, all the time.

So I brought this up with the fam a few weeks ago, and we agreed it was time to make a change. The kids have more practice with chores now, and we know what they can and can’t do better. So I went back to the Excel sheet and removed myself from the mix. Now, MC has some set chores she does every week, and Tomas and DC alternate back and forth between responsibilities for other chores.

Already I can feel a difference. I hope it sticks. I’m very motivated by checking in boxes, but that can also be a problem, as I feel really guilty when those boxes don’t get checked. I realize this might sound silly to many, but it’s an aspect of myself that I’ve been able to use to get a lot more done each day than I otherwise might. It’s just that I’m discovering I need to be cautious how much I apply it. Otherwise it can be too easy for me to always feel like there’s tons of things I need to be doing. In that case, I’m unable to really ever relax unless the slate is totally clear.

That isn’t always realistic.

In any case, yay for a supportive family and kids willing to chip in to help everyone out.

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve been posting my book ICHABOD in installments, as well as chapters from UTOPIA. Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.

A Family is a Solar System

Today marks the last full day I’ll be at home without my family. That’s definitely a good thing. A house is a very empty thing when you’re used to having four other people living in it. It’s not been too much fun to be by myself all this time, though there have been a few things I’ve observed in the week and a half.

First off, families take up a lot of time in ways you just don’t notice day in, day out. There are expectations in a family. It’s a team sport, so to speak. There are bedtimes to orchestrate, dinners to arrange, chores to coordinate, and personal goals to achieve. In a way, a family is like a solar system. Each planet has its own set of moons, its own orbit, its own climate and troubles. When things run smoothly, then all is in its right balance, and it all works out. When some of that goes off in an unexpected direction, it can upset everything else.

(Which leads me to wonder, of course, what the family revolves around. While I’d love to say “Me,” that wouldn’t be accurate at all. I think the family revolves around the shared idea of what the family goals are. In our family, it’s a shared sense of responsibility and love. Those are the things that keep yanking us back to gravitational center whenever one of us starts heading off in a new direction. A family that revolves around any one person is more of an entourage than an actual family unit.)

When all those little planets are gone, it’s amazing how easy it is to do whatever you want. It was 8:30, and I needed something from the store, so I just hopped in the and got it. I didn’t need to check with anyone. Didn’t need to worry about abandoning any obligations. I was wholly in charge of my schedule, so I knew what needed doing and when.

I’ve gotten a lot done in the week and a half. I’ve basically done it by making a huge To Do list and then crossing things off it one by one, rewarding myself with video games. I could play another 15 minutes if I got another item on the list done. That sort of thing.) But I’ve also been able to do so much because there’s so much more time available to me. Dinner has been really easy. I just eat cold oatmeal every night. That meant I didn’t have to cook, and I didn’t have to do any dishes. Normally we eat dinner as a family, taking time to watch something together or talk together. But I just ate whenever I felt like it, usually pairing it up with a quick video game session.

So many of the obligations of a family come on you one at a time, spread out over years. Marriage. Children. Home ownership. When I go away for a conference I don’t notice those obligations being gone, because there are plenty of other things there to keep me busy. The same is true on vacations. But when the whole family leaves at once, you can’t help but notice it.

It’s pretty lonely.

But that’s done now, for the most part. I’ve got a ton to get ready before I leave. This is likely my last blog post for a while, as I’ll be off gallivanting around Europe. There’s a chance I’ll pop in here and there to say something, but it’s doubtful. Have an excellent rest of your summer, and I’ll see you toward the end of August!

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Like what you’ve read? Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Thanks to all my Patrons who support me! It only takes a minute or two, and then it’s automatic from there on out. I’ve been posting my book ICHABOD in installments, as well as chapters from UTOPIA. Check it out.

If you’d rather not sign up for Patreon, you can also support the site by clicking the MEMORY THIEF Amazon link on the right of the page. That will take you to Amazon, where you can buy my books or anything else. During that visit, a portion of your purchase will go to me. It won’t cost you anything extra.