complaints

To the Single-Brain-Celled Organism Riding that Harley Last Night

I get it. I understand how low your self-esteem is, and how the only thing keeping you from crying every time you look at yourself in the mirror is the fact that you shelled out money on a Harley Davidson loud enough to rattle windows in a tri-county radius every time you accelerate. Typically, I try to be an understanding and compassionate person, ready to see things from someone else’s point of view. The kind of guy who gives everybody the benefit of the doubt. But wake up my sleeping two year old with your decibel blasting idiocy, and so […]

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Sweating the Small Stuff

If there’s one thing I could change about me, it’s probably my tendency to stress out too much about small things that don’t really matter. (Okay, maybe that’s not the only thing I’d change, but it made for a good intro to this post.) Case in point: this last Memorial Day, Denisa and I had a cookout with the kids. The only problem? I almost never use my grill, and so I’m far from comfortable when it comes time to put it into action. You’d figure most normal people wouldn’t be too worried about something like that. After all, it’s

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A Real Pain in the Foot

(Name that movie!) Hey–I haven’t complained about my health all year, so I was figuring you all were beginning to wonder if I’d been swapped with a doppelgänger. Have no fear. I’m here to put that rumor to rest, while simultaneously building off my “foot theme” from yesterday. I’m a man of many facets–what can I say? For all the various aches and pains I’ve had over my years, one thing that never really bothered me were my fee (when they’re not being cold). They were sturdy, stalwart companions who went about their business, day in and day out, doing what

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A Brave New Headache

I’ve experienced a fair range of headaches through my life. Virtual headaches, like reinstalling operating systems when your computer goes horribly wrong. Real headaches, like the awful migraines I get every year or two. Small headaches that pop up in the afternoon. Eye strain headaches. Stress headaches. Me and headaches. We go way back. Which is why last night was so strange. I’d been feeling really tired and worn out for the last while–it’s the final push for Denisa to finish teaching her classes, and we’ve had all the Christmas preparations to do in addition to that, plus work .

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How Deep Does the Mouse Hole Go?

Okay, peoples. This stuff just got real. The internet company finally(!) sent someone out to figure out what was wrong with our connection. It didn’t take them too long: they went around pulling on wires until they found one that jerked a little too easily. A mouse had chewed right through it. That’s right. My mouse problem and my internet problem are *one and the same*! Words fail to capture the exact feelings of loathing and hatred coursing through my veins when it comes to mice at the moment. Suffice it to say that I’ve ordered an additional 20 traps of

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