humor

Has this every happened to you? You’ve just come back from an extended summer vacation, where you personally challenged yourself to drink every single milkshake you came across? And you had the fortitude to hold yourself to that vow, even going so far as to seek out more milkshakes, just to make things more challenging? And have you ever come back from that vacation weighing a full ten pounds more than when you set out on it? If so, then I imagine you might have wondered, “How am I ever going to lose all this extra weight?!” Fear not, faithful

I had a reader request (sort of) earlier in the week for a post about pants. And I am definitely not one to shy away from a challenge or reasonable request, and so here I am, ready to tell you, the world, all about pants. There are many kinds of pants, so I’m going just going to look at the top ten. There’s a good chance your favorite kind of pants won’t make it on this list. That was definitely a deliberate decision, made to make you frustrated and angry. Because it’s my goal in life to make people as

I realize not everyone out there has as much experience feeling like a doofus compared to me, and it occurred to me that perhaps that’s a skill set I should pass on to those in need of mastering the art. Of course, when you’ve been making an idiot of yourself for as long as I have, much of it comes naturally, so it’s hard to really refine the whole essence of the process into a simple checklist. However, nothing’s quite like learning by example, so I thought I might give you a step by step run down of a true

Look. Sometimes a topic comes up on a Facebook post, and there’s just not enough space there to give it the sort of attention it deserves. Yesterday, I tried to write a simple post about how you learn to handle rejection. Naturally, my sister ruthlessly hijacked the thread to turn it into how good vanilla ice cream is. Suddenly, I’ve got family members popping up to talk about how lobster is good, as well. All it’s missing is to have someone bring up Grape Nuts, and the thread’s downfall will be complete. Brothers. Friends. Countrymen. There comes a time in

You would think, after more than 40 years of experience on this earth, that I would generally be with it when it comes to basic mechanical devices. I know my way around computers pretty well. I can tinker around with most things and get them to work. I’d like to think I’m capable of doing basic things like, say, replacing windshield wipers on my car. Right? Due to an overzealous ice scraping incident, my old wipers were giving me trouble. The rubber had separated from the end of one of them, and it looked like a rat tail moving back