On the bus ride to the airport yesterday, they had a movie I probably never would have watched otherwise. (Amazing what we can be willing to do when we’re a captive audience.) New in Town wins the award for Most Formulaic Movie Bryce Has Seen In A Long While.
It’s not a particularly bad movie. It’s just that it’s executed with clockwork precision, and when it comes to a RomCom, you don’t want to feel like you’re watching something run by the German Transit Authority.
Rene Zellweger is an up and coming ruthless white collar head honcho, sent to Wisconsin to downsize a plant, where the union head is Harry Connick, Jr. So. Think about that for a minute. There’s the premise. You can tell me the whole movie without even thinking, can’t you? Like the fact that Zellweger starts out as a heartless witch–until she gets to know the great people of the little town. How she and Connick don’t get along at all, but end up falling in love, only to have something jeopardize that happily ever after. But then it all comes together in a big romantic swell at the end.
Sorry. Did I just ruin the movie for you?
And every other formulaic RomCom while I was at it?
And actually, the more I think about this movie, the more cringe-worthy it becomes. Like how Zellweger is portrayed as being cold and cruel–until she gets a man, at which point she’s suddenly a caring woman. Because single women are dangerous harpies. Gotta get ’em married up, quick. Or how the business people are all heartless, trying to fire at least ten people before breakfast each day. And the small town folk, they’re all great people. They have their warts, but they’re quality.
You can miss this one, folks. Two stars. Maybe. So unless you’re stuck on a bus with nothing better to do, why not go do something else? Like watch a slug marathon, or paint your grass green. You know–something productive. I actually like RomComs, believe it or not. I’ve seen quite a few. This is one you can miss.