Living in the Dark Ages

Early last week, the internet at my house went down. I wasn’t too concerned. It was likely just a router issue–happens all too often–so I went and reset it.

That didn’t fix the problem.

This escalated the problem from minor concern to minor annoyance. I was going to have to call the internet peoples and have them perform their voodoo on the connection. And they were probably going to want me to hook my laptop up directly to the router instead of just using the wireless, which meant I’d have to find an ethernet cable somewhere. It is a hard life I lead, what can I say? So I picked up the phone and called tech support.

Fifteen minutes later, I set the phone down, stunned.

The voodoo hadn’t worked. They were going to have to put in a ticket to “escalate the support.”

Normally, this would mean a day or two more of no internet. But at the moment, my internet company is kind of on strike. Well, no “kind of” about it. It’s been going on since October 16th, and I have no idea when it’s going to end. I do know that in the meantime, the odds of my downed internet being escalated anywhere other than nowhere are “slim to none.”

What does this mean?

It means all my internet use at home is down to the trickle I sip through my phone. It means no Netflix, no streaming music, no news updates, no playing any online games, no checking upcoming movie trailers, no watching any sports. In a nutshell, it means I have a lot more time on my hands, if you want to get all “glass is half full on me.” I’ve been reduced to watching my DVD/Bluray collection people. Physical media!

I think I just saw fire and brimstone raining outside my window. I think the world may be ending. Not that I’d know about it on time, since I have no internet at my house.

Somehow, I’ll see my way through this. It might require massive amounts of chocolate, but thankfully Halloween has provided me with an abundance of the stuff by way of the Dad Tax on my children’s seven pounds of candy. (Seven pounds, folks. Count ’em.) In the meantime, any and all care packages are welcome, though calls to the Red Cross to send assistance are probably just a tad premature.

Thank goodness I have an internet connection at work . . .

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