Disgustingly Sensible

Last night, I went to bed at 9. Nine. 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9. Why? Because I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately, and I knew that if I just could catch some extra z’s, I’d be a much happier Bryce. It was the sensible thing to do.

But as I lay there, reading a bit before I fell asleep, it occurred to me that I’ve been doing the sensible thing far too often. Look at me! I’m exercising every day, I eat almost no processed sugar, I’m watching my weight, and now I’m even going to bed early?

The inner-Bryce (the Bryce who still likes to think of himself as pretty much the same as that college-aged Bryce) was disgusted. What have I become? Where is the Bryce who used to stay up until 3 in the morning  playing video games? Where is the Bryce who would have eating contests with his friends? The Bryce who would consume an entire large pizza by himself, just because he could? The Bryce who used to keep a gallon of chocolate milk in the fridge underneath his bed, so he could drink it whenever he felt the need?

That Bryce seems to be gone, or at least getting pushed further and further away from the current Bryce.

It’s enough to make me want to do something stupendously foolish, just to show that the old Bryce is still there.

But the sad truth (for the old Bryce), is that I’m reminded of a different Bryce. An old-old Bryce (meaning an even younger Bryce). That Bryce had a conversation with his uncle once about why in the world adults didn’t watch cartoons. It didn’t make any sense. Getting up early on a Saturday morning to watch cartoons was obviously the best thing anyone could ever do. What was wrong with adults that they didn’t do it?

Of course, the old-old Bryce is long gone. I’ll watch cartoons now and then, but there are so many other ways to spend my time. Mentally, I know that we all get older, and our tastes change as we do. It’s good that I’m getting in better shape and watching what my body needs more.

Anyway. I’ve written about this in the past, as I recall. Just interesting to see the evolution keep on happening, regardless of what I try to do to stop it. I think most changes in life happen this way: bit by bit over time, doing the things that seem right and sensible as they come along. I suppose I should be happy that my trajectory is a good one.

But there’s still that part of me that wishes I was plopped in front of a television right now, binge watching Transformers and eating Fruity Pebbles by the metric ton . . .

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