Graduation and Separation
TRC graduated from preschool today. He was very excited (they performed a play–he was a frog. Again.), but he was also really sad. Sad because it had come to an end and “he’d never get to go to preschool again.” I tried to comfort him: reassure him that he’d still see his friends, and that Kindergarten would be fun, too. At the same time, though, I couldn’t help but think that this is something he has to learn to deal with. I’ve never been a good one for good byes. I like to keep them short, because they make me uncomfortable. There are probably deep seated psychological reasons for this, but you don’t want to read about this, and I don’t want to write about it. Suffice it to say, I could relate to him. For a long time, I hated watching family videos, just because I didn’t like to be reminded of what was past and could never be recovered. They still make me kind of depressed, although I can handle them now. This isn’t to say by any means that I’m not happy in the present. It’s more that I wish I could be happy in the present and still get back the past and be happy there, too.
I know that makes no sense.
In any case, I think he’s recuperating well. The thing that I’ve found that helps the most is to remember that today’s present will be tomorrow’s past. It’s a lot easier to deal with the loss of yesterday if I know that I spent that time well.
Okay–clearly I’m feeling too retrospective right now. I have no right to be posting when I’m in this condition. That is all.
By raisinfish, May 14, 2009 @ 7:53 pm
It makes sense to me. There’s a line from Ella Enchanted that for some reason always makes me want to cry. (The book–not the movie.)
“You can never go back to a moment when you were happy.”
There’s only so much time in my life, and so I can’t do everything all the time. Plus, distance changes things. Other people’s personal growth changes things. My personal growth changes things. But sometimes I wish I could live my life all on top of itself, so I could have all the things I have now and all the things I used to have all at once.
For me, though, this is limited to things I’ve had as an adult. I have absolutely no desire to go back to being a child. That may be the product of how miserable I was for much of it.
By brycemoore, May 14, 2009 @ 8:28 pm
Yeah–I have a very selective memory. I tend to repress those bad experiences very quickly. No desire to go back to them.
By Anonymous, May 15, 2009 @ 1:12 am
I’m more of a mess than my kids
I BAWLED at Kindergarten Graduation, and we were STAYING AT THAT SCHOOL. Mostly because it’s a big step to go to 1st grade. But K totally rocks. Seriously, the most fun they ever have. So excited for it next year.
And yes, you have deeply seated psycological issues. No disagreement on that either. 🙂
H
By bgchristensen, May 15, 2009 @ 1:22 am
I generally assume that people reading my blog want to read about my deeply-seated (I always thought that was seeded?) psychological reasons for everything. Is there a deeply-seated psychological reason for why you assume the opposite?
By berjouhi, May 15, 2009 @ 2:10 am
Wow, I have never been sad at a graduation. Occasionally graduation has been a let down because I didn’t feel like “graduating” made any difference in my life, but never sad. Perhaps it is a lack of creativity. I really never thought about the things I wouldn’t get to do again. I was more likely thinking, “Just get this over with so I can move on.” Not being sad about graduations goes on my, very brief, list of the good things about living in the future.
Congrats to TRC!
By brycemoore, May 15, 2009 @ 2:18 am
Um . . . I blame Freud.
By brycemoore, May 15, 2009 @ 2:19 am
Thanks. He’s pretty much over it now. 🙂 And as for graduations and me–I didn’t even attend my final one. Just felt like a big hoop.
By bgchristensen, May 15, 2009 @ 4:33 am
The historical figure or the fictional character?
By brycemoore, May 15, 2009 @ 12:15 pm
Both. 🙂