To the Victor Go the Spoils

I don’t know if any of you noticed, but the NCAA tournament is over. And like last year, only one other person entered my blog pool. And like last year, that person beat me. Creamed me. I did awful this year. Who beat me? Kevin Albert. And as promised, here’s my post to say just why Kevin Albert is so awesome. (Besides the face that he humors me by entering my blog pool each year, thereby helping me avoid feeling like a complete and utter loser.) Kevin is awesome because:

He gets to do fancy CSI type stuff with computers, figuring out how people are trying to delete their information so that they don’t have to go to jail. (At least that’s how I understand it.) This makes Kevin pretty much the Anti-Enron, which ought to be developed into a superhero name of some sort. Unron. Yeah. Kevin is Unron the Magnificent.

He took weight training with me in high school about 85 times. Really, it’s a miracle that I didn’t bulk up and turn into Sylvester Stallone with all that weight training. Or maybe not. I seem to recall Kevin and I cheating our way through the darn flexibility test, spending like a half hour stretching our calves before we had to take it. I hate flexibility.

He could beat me in a foot race against a bear. Or a mountain lion. Or John Candy. Of course, so could most people.

He was the only one of my high school friends to successfully watch all five films of my graduation party: Stupid Movie Fest. What did we watch? Hmm . . . I know we watched The Jerk and Blues Brothers. And I remember we ended up with It Could Happen to You, a movie that didn’t really fit in with the theme (obviously), but which I think we watched because by that time we’d consumed enough sugar to make War and Peace look like a Mel Brooks movie. What were the other two? Spaceballs? Blazing Saddles? Young Frankenstein? Kev, if you read this, some help would be nice here. Becky? Do you remember? You were there for some of it, too.

He kept me from going off the deep end of the drama/band geek scene. It’s good to be grounded sometimes.

He made a good racing competitor for driving home from the movies.

He was also an excellent movie commentator, single-handedly helping me make Chain Reaction not a complete waste of my time. “And his disguise was complete.”

I think that’s about enough praising of Kevin for this year. Gotta hold some stuff back for next year, when he beats me again. Congratulations, Kevin. I salute you!

6 thoughts on “To the Victor Go the Spoils”

  1. Stupid Movie Fest
    Hmm. I remember ‘The Jerk’ and ‘Blues Brothers’, but I know I didn’t see ‘Blazing Saddles’ until after college. Apparently, I left early, so I guess that isn’t helpful. This wasn’t the infamous movie night when you lead me to believe that ‘It’ wouldn’t be scary, was it?
    Anyway, congrats Kevin. You are indeed awesome.

  2. Re: Stupid Movie Fest
    Nah–I think ‘It’ was for my 16th birthday. Maybe 15th. And it wasn’t at night–it was during the day. Which makes it not scary at all, right? Which means I was right. Which makes me awesome. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. John Candy?
    You do realize John Candy is dead… right? Please tell me you can win him in a foot race against a bear….

  4. Re: John Candy?
    Yes, I know he’s dead. I’m talking John Candy in his prime. Cool Runnings John Candy, or Mog John Candy. You haven’t seen me run. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Re: Stupid Movie Fest
    (Sorry I went away for Passover and am just catching up now)
    First off, hilarious post. I thank you for the tribute.
    As I remember it, we watched The Jerk, Blues Brothers and Spaceballs. The 4th movie was The Naked Gun or possibly Airplane. Nice pull on It Could Happen to You. I remembered that the last movie didn’t exactly fit but we went with it anyway. I did not remember what it was.
    Ah Chain Reaction. I think you, I, and Keanu’s mom are the only ones who’ve ever seen it. “What took you so long?… The bridge was up (and I am a horrible actor)”

  6. Re: Stupid Movie Fest
    Spaceballs and Airplane–I think that’s it. That was a classic day. I think I’m still digesting some of those turkey sandwiches.
    Glad to see you liked the post. ๐Ÿ™‚

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