To the State of Florida

In light of the Clinton/McCain victories this evening, and in honor of the impending Holiday of Holidays*, I’d like to send out a personal message from yours truly to the entire state of Florida. In the words of the immortal Bill Murray: Morons, your bus is leaving. *I speak, of course, of Groundhog Day.

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Florida Primary

So today’s the day. What all the pundits* have been hyping as “do or die” in the Republican primary. I’ve been following this here election pretty closely, and my choice comes down to one simple answer. Mitt Romney or Barrack Obama. Why Mitt? He’s the only presidential candidate who gave me a wedding present. That just shows you how on top of things Mitt is. Even back in 2001, he was already campaigning for my vote. I’m convinced that if he would just spend all his money buying people wedding presents instead of buying television time, he’d already have this

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I had high hopes for Iowa. For a while, I was thinking the state was actually pretty cool. I mean, it’s got a song about it in The Music Man, so that’s something, right? Well, Iowa has bugs. Swarms of bugs. Open your hotel door for a second and you have ten thousand bugs in your room bugs. So . . . no thanks, Iowa. But on the plus side, they had a cool German/Amish restaurant I ate at, and that was nice. Oh, and I’m now in Williamsburg, Iowa, by the way. Distance driven today: 619 miles. Distance to

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Republican Debate

I watched again tonight. Having ten candidates up there seems a little silly to me. Most of them have no chance whatsoever, and I question the need to have them there. It makes it look less like politics and more like a circus. It also makes it so that there’s less of a real debate and more of a “everyone clamoring to try and be heard and make an impression on the audience.” At least this one seemed to focus more on the major candidates, but I’d still prefer fewer candidates and more real debating. But maybe that’s just me.

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