Had to Share

So I just got back from the local department store, where I was buying a hat. For a long time, I’ve been wanting to get a Mad Bomber hat, but I’ve never been able to find one big enough to fit my head. (Go ahead–make fun of me. Get it out of your system. All better? Can I continue? Thanks.) Today I found an XXL one, and it fits perfectly. (Really? You’re still making jokes about my big head? I thought we were over this.) Anyway, I was standing there in the store, considering which style to choose, and a woman edged up behind me. Not in a “just browsing” sort of way–in a sneaky, clandestine sort of way.

She looks around to make sure no one’s near, then says softly, “You know where those are made, don’t you?”

I stare at her blankly, not used to having random strangers come up to me in department stores to ask me questions.

She waits for me to answer. When I don’t, she says, “China.”

How enlightening. I’m still wondering why she’s telling me this, since the majority of the merchandise in that store likely comes from China. She continues.

“You know what they’re made from, don’t you?”

I look back at the hat. I’ve already checked. This one has a nylon shell, rayon lining and rabbit trim. I realize she must be talking about the rabbit, but what is she trying to get at? Outrage that bunnies were killed in the making of the hat? That it’s not really rabbit, but [insert other fluffy critter here]? She just nods at me and then sidles off.

I’m about to dismiss this all as Today’s Random Encounter, but she must have been able to tell I wasn’t quite clear what she was talking about, because she reappears farther away, poking her head out from an aisle.

“Cats,” she said. “They make them out of cats.”

Right. Like this is supposed to make me drop the hat in horror and run from the store, as if she’d just told me they were made from human scalps or something. Poor woman. Anyone who knows me would know that if I found out the hats really were made from puhtty tats, I’d be *more* likely to buy one, not less.

I bought the hat, and I got a great story out of it for free.

Thanks, crazy cat lady. This hat’s for you.


Comments

6 responses to “Had to Share”

  1. Setting aside your humongous head and your animal cruelty, I can’t help but question your fashion sense. ๐Ÿ˜›
    (honestly I have a hard time understanding the difference between making them out of cats and making them out of some other animal. just because people keep cats as pets doesn’t make them objectively different. *cat people may now attack me*)

  2. I live in Maine. Fashion sense is optional. ๐Ÿ™‚
    And don’t worry–I think the cat people will yell at me before they yell at you.
    The hat’s warm–it’ll be great for snowblowing in 30 below temperatures. That’s all I care about.

  3. Ah, yes. That makes sense. It’s going to make you look like the crazy cousin from Christmas Vacation, though. Maybe you could find some squirrels to eat while you’re blowing all that snow.

  4. Just call me Cousin Eddie. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Anonymous Avatar
    Anonymous

    Te eheei
    I think most of the bad cat experiences I’ve ever had, have occured at your home.
    Too bad you couldn’t skin it yourself. ๐Ÿ™‚
    H

  6. Re: Te eheei
    Don’t tell Gretel!

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