Okay, maybe stalking’s a bit strong of a word. But we’ve all done it. You forget about a person for 12 years, and then one day you remember that person and decide you’d like to see what she’s up to. A little snooping around in Google, and voila, you have a fairly good idea. Nothing sinister to that, is there? So why is it that I feel so snoopy whenever I do it? Nosy. Oh well–it hasn’t stopped me yet. And I think that there should be a law written that forces everyone into Facebook. Just to make my snooping easier. Plus, it would make contacting the person easier. Because what do I do otherwise? Email them a note that says, “Hey! Remember me! I had a crush on you 12 years ago, so I decided to look you up online and see what’s happening in your life. How are things?”
Riiiiiiiight. That wouldn’t be creepy at all. A Facebook add, on the other hand, would be socially acceptable.
Then again, I can always try and use the powers of Google to my advantage in this case. It’s fairly well-known fact that if you name a person by name, there’s a pretty good chance they’ll turn up on teh Intarnets. So let’s try that approach. Jessica Franciose King (I think that’s your last name these days), I hereby summon you in a manner as uncreepy as possible. This is Bryce from freshman year at BYU. I don’t want to meet you in person. I’m happily married, and I really would just like to touch base and say howdy. See how things are.
And maybe convince you to join Facebook.
Why? Because I’ve been happily telling many a person how I broke your leg dancing–and I’ve used that as an excuse to not dance for years. Because I wonder if I still hold the record for speed reading Fox in Socks out loud. And because I’m feeling particularly nostalgic this afternoon.
If this works, maybe I’ll try some other summonses later on. Think of it as a social experiment.